Life is a Song (My birthday blog)

Comptine D’u Autre ete L’Apres Midi or (The Piano” Life is a Song by Yann Tiersen

Here I am at forty one and no more the big party and the fancy cake. No more the mile-long parade of greetings in Facebook. It is just me going around the house dumping piles of mail into the trash, sweeping the floor of pistachio shells and empty bags of Lays while the other occupants lie asleep till noon.

It is quiet as I pound on the keyboard with the headphone on as I do my son’s finger exercises on the keys in the hope that I, contrary to popular belief, at some point after forty, may be able to perform a rendition of Comptine D’an Autre ete L’Apres-midi that will move my audience to tears.

Last year’s forty brought too much bang, I guess, that now I am left in the wake of last year’s celebration… sweeping away the “confetti “of pistachio shells and junk mail … having lived   a decade of marriage, having borne the loss of my father and having finally accepted the realization that with forty comes the inevitable degradation of the eyesight and the clouding of the memory.

Billy Joel wrote a song about  it … “Don’t forget your second wind”.

I may be losing my eyesight, or my keys but I haven’t  lost  my joie d’ vivre.

I am coasting along the momentum of the “second wind”.

Patience and the will to persevere has replaced mental acuity and physical dexterity as I learn and grow into new interests and forge new paths.

And always, the wisdom of the old.  I have wise words to say, out of the wealth of my experiences.  There is substance to the gray hair. This wrinkling, spotted skin has bathed in the warmth of a thousands suns. This hoarse voice has sang, and laughed, and screamed to a million delights.

It is quieter at forty one --- too quiet, perhaps, as to bring me to tears, but these are good tears, determined tears… tears that will make of me a better wife, mother, woman. And may I say, pianist?