Dreams of Eden

Four a.m. of a Friday I awake as soon as husband awakens and  sleep eludes me, head a swirl of thoughts and perturbed by  events of the day before: of having to tell a boss that I’m leaving, of meeting  that 70-year-old woman who overdosed on pills, who when told that God loves her says she is done with God… she has a long-standing grudge with God-- the God who had failed her expectations, who  allows evil to win.

I beat myself up for not having defended God enough, as if God needed defending. My  attempt, seeming inadequate, to make her see that God’s plan was not this from the beginning. But man messed it up.  God provided a way through His Son on the cross, who Himself, will  someday  make things right and vanquish evil. “So you see,”I tell this woman, “everything is not as it was then, when it  was perfect in the Garden. “

I follow my  thoughts as they take me back to Eden -- Adam and Eve, walking the garden with God. And I was struck by the revelation that His Spirit gave to me.

The voice in my head was telling me this: “How can you say,  Soul, that God is not love, when He created Eden just for you? Can you even imagine how it was when everything was good, and you were at the center of it all, the crown of His creation? If God is not love, if He is not good, why would He do all of this for you, who out of the dust He formed and  breathed the breath of life?

The entire universe  for you---the grandeur of the Grand Canyon, the majesty of the Niagara, the spectacle of the aurora borealis, and the  galaxies, the dazzling yellow moon on dark nights when it is full, the  glittering, star-decked skies, the powdery white sands of the beaches, the crystal blue waters, the stunning tapestry of the fields and flowers, the myriad beauty, variety, complexity of the fishes, and birds and animals, the dazzling sunsets, the amazing dunes, the music of the birds, and ritual falling of rain and snow, the waves lapping on the shore, the winds, the mountains, the trees,the sky, the lakes, the seas; all of  this breathtaking beauty He made ---just for you. How could you say, O soul, that He does not love you? How could you say that He is not good?

And you, His prized possession, whom He fashioned from His likeness and made for His glory---He gave the freedom to choose…so you could choose to love Him or turn away. You chose to turn away.”

Then the Spirit leads me from  Eden straight to  Golgotha, where God’s only Son, His Beloved, The Lamb without blemish is sent to suffer affliction, rejection and to die the goriest of deaths for this rebel soul, who turned away…to REDEEM YOU. And as was in Eden, so also in Golgotha, He gives you the freedom to love or reject Him. This Creator-Savior, with His dying breath, chose to forgive you.

More than that, this God, has prepared a new Eden for you -- worm of a man; you, dust; you, speck in His vast universe, who if not for His wanton, lavish grace cannot live and move and have your being.

So, you, O soul, with  fists clenched or back turned against God, like that woman, dare  say, ‘Where was He when that innocent man was beheaded, or where is He when  little children are exploited, when masses are murdered, when loved ones die, when the righteous suffer, when evil reigns? You who rage and refuse my love and goodness, ‘Where was God then?’ you ask?”

He was in Golgotha, Hanging. Naked. On. A .Cross---- the place where purest love met unadulterated hate; the place where  perfect good clashed with blackest evil. The place where evil, justice, love and forgiveness collided.

The journey of a thousand questions leads me from Eden straight into the very heart of God.

It is amazing,  that  I, in the process of being  a witness FOR God’s love and God’s goodness,  become witness  TO His love unspeakable, His goodness unfathomable, His grace and mercy without end.

I fell asleep with dreams of Eden -- the sweet, sweet slumber of  the loved, of the redeemed,  of the forgiven .