A Letter to My Husband on the Occasion of our 10th Anniversary

I wonder if I should start from the very beginning, to relive the day when we  met.  But that would be the most unromantic part of our story.  I was having my dental prophylaxis, and you were just hanging out at Marty, your dentist- friend’s office. A very benign meeting,  just two adults of a certain age transacting  business.  Just when did your personal business become mine and mine yours, I do not know.  But that was exactly how it began. 

It has been more than a decade since then and look at us now—we are older; we are grayer; we are wise with the ways of the world.  And what have we learned about love and marriage, my dear? 

1.  Love comes in the most unexpected places. Where we met and how! And then again, we only planned to be friends. You were fresh on the heels of a broken love affair, and I was a battle-scarred veteran of love. Go figure.

2.  Love is a decision.  I chose to love you although it did not seem to make sense for some people; although the timing was off, they said.  I had a world to conquer but you had conquered me.

3.  Home is not a place, it is a person.  I remember thinking on the first weeks we lived as husband and wife and the few years after, that though we were vagrants -  without a house and worldly goods - you were my home. 

4.  Love is truly wonderful.  

How blissful it  was to go to  sleep  at night and to wake up  with  your arms around me… how your kisses were a dream!

5.  Love abounds with generosity. You express your love in tangible and extravagant ways...and should I dare to mention the lengths  you would go  to oblige your queen?

6.  Love puts up with whatever.  Only you know how I can hold long, drawn-out battles  for what-- in your perception-- could be the teeniest thing.  Only you can stand this hopeless drama queen.

7.  Unlike minds can come together.  How else would I be able to live with someone so totally different from me and me from him?  Case in point: I  read; you’re allergic to words.  I like Bach; you love Bon Jovi.  I like crabs ; you like steak. I’m a fitness freak; you’re a couch potato and a video addict. I’m a romantic; you’re a pragmatic. The list is long.

8.  In marriage, there is no shame.  And that is the best part.  I can be shamelessly myself when I am with you and you will not judge me. While folks may call me  weird, I am perfectly  normal for you, thank you.

9. Love’s passion never dies; it gets better with time.  You are a regular  Casanova, a swashbuckling Valentino, a lion and a  legend.  Need I say more?

10.  A child can only strengthen the bond of love. 

I remember when I gave birth to Matthew, how I felt so much love from  you. And everyday, as

we share the gift of God that is him,

I find that I love you more for loving our son the way you do.

 

11.  You have to let someone love you the way they know how.  (So ladies, let us stop complaining.) Just because you are not as sentimental and romantic as I am doesn’t mean you don’t love me as much.

12. Marriage is not a lifetime mission to change one’s spouse but to inspire one’s spouse to become the best he can ever be…and so  let me be your muse, my love.

I won’t let this decade pass without  thanking  you, today for all the times that you open  my jars and bottle caps and reach for my pots and pans that are too high for me to reach; for sharpening my knives, cooking our meals, taking the garbage out everyday and fixing—without a single   complaint-- the bathroom that I  clogged with paper towels leaving us with no bathroom and no dishwasher and washer  over the holidays.

Thank you for putting gas in my car that I leave empty all the time because I’m too lazy to fill it.  Thanks for filling my bike tires with air and my car’s  too. Thank you for putting up the Christmas tree.  Thanks for always giving me gadgets and fixing my gadgets  and bearing with my computer messes. Thanks for teaching me how to do windows live movie maker and giving me sole credit for a video that I knew you worked hard on. Thanks for all the years you drove me to and from work, day and night,  and for teaching me how to drive.  There is so much more to thank you for but lastly…

Thanks for the surprise party you cooked up for our anniversary.

And Happy 10th Anniversary, yourself.

May we have many more.